Sunday, February 29, 2004

With the oscars upon us, I feel it necessary to announce the winner in the only category I care about: Most Hat-centric Movie of 2004. May I have the envelope please?


And the winner is: Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World.

Displaying a remarkable depth and breath of head haberdashery, yet always remaining focused on the everpresent and all-important stovepipe, this film withstood a late run by flim-flam-ful Pirates of the Caribbean and is truly deserving of the prize.

Tune in next year to find out if the stovepipe dynasty manages to last another year....oh, the suspense!

Sunday, February 22, 2004

Found, at a local supermarket, in the deli pre-made meals section, for 80-odd cents: Two beef sticks and one string cheese stick, covered in cellophane on a styrofoam tray.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

It's official, I now hate the Red Sox more than the Yankees. I'll admit, with the recent completion of the Alex Rodriguez deal, this seems an odd stance to take, especially now, but let me explain myself. Today the last straw was Red Sox owner John Henry coming out and complaining about how baseball needs a salary cap. I agree completely, baseball does need a salary cap - however, that's not the issue here. The issue is pure hypocracy, John Henry's team already has one of the highest payrolls in the league and has shown time and time again that he'd have no problem raising it even more, to bring in Alex Rodriguez, among other people. I'm wondering what the chances are that Henry would have come to the same concluison if the Sox had been the winners of the Arod derby. The only real explanation as to why he would come out with this statement is, as George Stienbrenner put it, "sour grapes". He's griping because he couln't force the rangers into taking one of the most overpayed and lazy players in the league, Manny Ramirez, essentially straight up, in exchange for Arod. And now we're supposed to pity the poor Red Sox because they wouldn't make the Rangers a solid offer? The Yankees made a much better offer and they won. Period. I don't see why I'm supposed to root for a deep-pocketed team just because it has done a consistantly poor job of spending its money over a long period of time. The "cursed" Cubs fit into this category too, of course. If I'm going to root for a so-called "underdog", it's going to be some scrappy up-and-coming small market team.

At least I can take solace in the incredible agony Sox fans will feel every time Rodriguez gets a hit against them. Meanwhile I'll keep rooting for the Brewers, where "lowered expectations" is the key phase. We will finish above .500 one of these years, just you wait.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

It's been cold here.

Very cold. Instantaneous-nose-hair-freezing cold.

You wussies can complain, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

By the way, that is the correct time of day on the last one. -2 at noon.