Saturday, December 30, 2006

Ok, the final week finds me one game behind Chris, and, even worse, two games behind Peter King. (Brian has locked the thing up, but I bear no ill will towards him, so that's beside the point....)

NYG at WAS: Two times makes it an offical trend: When Tom Coughlin's teams go down, they go down hard. WAS.

PIT at CIN: I saw a bit of the Bengals for the first time this year on Christmas Eve, and that was more than enough for me. Wrecking the Bengals here would make the Steelers feel a little better about themselves - upset special. PIT.

DET at DAL: It's come down to the wire between Detroit and Oakland for the number one pick and a shot at Brady Quinn - Of course, it won't matter much to Matt Millen, who's only scouting receivers. DAL.

NE at TEN: Vince Young saved Jeff Fisher's job this year, and I don't know if that's a good thing for the Titans. TEN.

JAX at KC: Everybody Loves Maurice Jones-Drew. Why did this guy pick up an extra name when he went from UCLA to the NFL? KC.

STL at MIN: Nice stat line by Tavaris Jackson last week. If the game went 8 quarters, he might have had a shot at 100 passing yards. Still, expect the Rams to choke here. MIN.

CAR at NO: Carolina has a sliver of a chance to still get in, which should be enough to get past the Saints. CAR.

OAK at NYJ: Now this is a matchup you like to see if a) your team needs a win to get in and b) You're inexplicably a Jets fan. NYJ.

SEA at TB: Gruden, please stop stalling, just give your championship ring to Tony Dungy, and the matter can be closed. How does this guy get respect when he's basically Barry Switzer part II? SEA.

CLE at HOU: Wow....GIDCAOTW, in a surprisingly easy call. HOU.

SF at DEN: Anyone who is now considering Denver to be a contender for the AFC crown needs to change their medication. DEN.

MIA at IND: One more year of the Colts' offensive juggernaut wasted on a team that just can't afford to play defense. IND.

ATL at PHI: Jim Mora Jr., you have a lot to learn from pops in the public relations department...PHI.

AZ at SD: Two teams that looked kinda similar coming into the season. Oh wait, I forgot about defense. SD.

BUF at BAL: This team does look a lot like the Baltimore team that somehow won the Super Bowl a few years back, but the AFC seems to be quite a bit stronger now. Expect a quick exit. BAL.

GB at CHI: Even more amazing than the Packers' shot at the playoffs is the fact that they would own a 5-1 record against the NFC Central if they can beat the Bears here. Talk about pathetic. GB.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Pulling out some outlandish picks this week to attempt to make up lost ground.....

CAR at ATL: Carolina's season was a disaster, but they've always been good at being a thorn in the side at this time of year. Upset Special 1. CAR.

TEN at BUF: When Vince Young was drafted, I was sure the Titans just landed the best quarterback to come out in the last few years. And then my brain started to be rotted by people who talked about his throwing motion and whatnot. Now, of course, the media has done a complete about-face on the guy and, and I feel ashamed for ever having paid attention to them in the first place. The guy is not Michael Vick, and that's good enough for me. TEN.


CHI at DET: Chicago's second team vs. the Lions at home? Ech, I can't believe I'm doing this but...DET.

WAS at STL: The Rams are a bad, bad team, and really need to be shown the playoff door at this point. Upset Special 2. WAS.

NO at NYG: It's almost impossible to imagine the Giants winning again this year. NO.

BAL at PIT: I can't think of anything worth talking about here. BAL.

NE at JAX: Jax gets a chance to prove they're legit for like the 9th time this year. JAX.

IND at HOU: Good, it seems like it has been 3 or four weeks since we've seen this matchup. IND.

AZ at SF: Niners, what have you done with the real Alex Smith? You know, the one who's horrible? SF

CIN at DEN: Mike Shanahan and his "I'm smarter than you" moves cheese me off to such an extent that I don't think I've picked the Broncos since about week 4. CIN.

SD at SEA: I think, after last week's performance, we can cross Seattle off the list of NFC Super Bowl contenders. SD.

PHI at DAL: Remember those Jeff Garcia tapes I told you to take last week? Keep them close at hand for this one. DAL.

NYJ at MIA: Harrington vs. Pennington, the snootily British quarterback name matchup of the year. The Lord of New SouthHamptonWellingtonShire is rumoured to be attending. NYJ.

Friday, December 22, 2006

KC at OAK. First Green Bay - Minny and now this? Boy does the NFL Network know how to pick 'em. KC.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Lisa says I need to make this post. I say that if there was ever a time when a post could be entirely implied, this would be it. I guess you can figure out who won that argument. GB.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

After watching the Wisconsin men's basketball squad steamroll #2-ranked Pitt earlier today, I headed over to the major sports websites to soak in the glory. What I found was just more confirmation that the number one qualification for professional journalism is the ability to think of headline puns.

Originally uploaded by athos.

Originally uploaded by athos.

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Originally uploaded by athos.

Also, I guess picks are still somehow going on, so here we go:

DAL at ATL. Mike Vick at tailback? What an interesting way of telling the guy he's not cutting it QB-wise....I hope the Giants do the same with Eli next week. DAL.

CLE at BAL. Ok, Browns, we get don't want to play any more this year. You can go home if you want. BAL.

DET at GB. Why did I start chuckling to myself when I got to this match up? GB.

HOU at NE. Brady's getting pissy, but to pick Houston on the road here would be the very definition of insanity. NE.

JAX at TEN. The Jags appear to have broken out their win-loss-win-loss rhythm, and I'm really not convinced that VY can do it against good defenses....yet. JAX.

MIA at BUF. It's hard to judge if all the middling teams in the AFC East are actually middling or really horrible. I guess it doesn't matter, because none are making the playoffs anyway. BUF.

NYJ at MIN. At least we know that the middling teams in the NFC Central are really horrible. NYJ.

PIT at CAR. Wow, how did ESPN not scoop up this game for prime time before the season started? Or is that stupid flex scheduling thing to blame? ESPN desperately needs games like these to throttle its vicious self-hyping cycle. CAR.

TB at CHI. This feels like a good GIDCAOTW. CHI.

WAS at NO. Note to the NFC. When NO is pulling away as one of your top two teams something is seriously screwed up. NO.

DEN at ARI. An excellent opportunity for further Broncos humiliation. Upset Special ARI.

PHI at NYG. Amuse Yourself Suggestion #1: Tape every pregame pundit praising Jeff Garcia this weekend, and then watch it about four weeks from now. Trust me, it will be hilarious. NYG.

STL at OAK. Yuck, yuck, yuck. STL.

KC at SD. So Chris didn't take my bait. Don't blame me for trying, though, I really need him to handicap himself to compensate for my Packers selections....SD.

CIN at IND. Amuse Yourself Suggestion #2: Keep a running tally of the number of times Joe Theismann starts a statement with "Peyton Manning..." vs the number of times Joe Theismann starts a statement with "Carson Palmer...". Whoever scores higher is the real loser. IND.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

ugh..I propose that next year we don't even bother picking Thursday games, on account of them not really existing and whatnot. SEA.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

A year ago, at least I had Samkon Gado going for me. Now, I really am down to nothing.

ATL at TB. The NFC South has become this year's "Mr. Irrelevant". TB.

BAL at KC. Is Baltimore for real? Is KC for real? What the hell does "for real" mean anyway? I guess they are part of what is commonly known as our collective sense of "reality"..... unless you want to start getting all existentialist about it. KC.

IND at JAX. The Jags usually seem to give Indy a hard time, but they won last week, so of course they're going to have a letdown here. IND.

MIN at DET. Errgh...had to repress an upset special, which would have been disastrous. Nobody loses games like Detroit loses games. MIN.

NE at MIA. Ok, the Fins had their nice little mid-season spurt, but c''s Joey Harrington, people...NE.

NYG at CAR. On a 1-10 scale, Carolina is at implosion level 6. The Giants are at implosion level 85. CAR.

OAK at CIN. I really thought the Bengals were done for the year, both in the standings and in criminal charges. I guess I was wrong. CIN.

PHI at WAS. Upset Special, even thought it shouldn't even really be an upset. WAS.

TEN at HOU. Vince Young Fever...contract it today! Honestly, you can already hear agonized moans coming from Houston. TEN.

GB at SF. Shut up, Ok? I don't want to hear it. GB.

SEA at ARI. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Seattle's getting healthy at the right time, but from the looks of Mike Holmgren, his head is at a serious risk of exploding in the next month or two. SEA.

Originally uploaded by lmf71080.

BUF at NYJ. The best part of last weeks game (aside from watching Lisa get the real Lambeau experience, frozen toes and all) was watching some punk-@#$ Jets fan and his frosted tips get thrown out of the stadium. NYJ. See pic - yes that is an authentic CRAIG NEWSOME jersey. I know, I know, too cool for words....

DEN at SD. C'mon know you want pick against the Chargers...Marty says you're a chicken if you don't...SD.

NO at DAL. You guys do know that Tony Romo is a native Wisconsinite, right? That's why he'll secretly blow the big game for the Cowboys in the playoffs, like any upstanding Badger citizen would. Thanks ahead of time, Tony. DAL.

CHI at STL. Rex Grossman did his best to fulfill my upset special last week, but the Vikings are so incompetent they couldn't even close the deal. At least the Rams have a bit more offense to play with. Upset Special #2. STL.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

It's times like these when I think I just want the NFL to close up shop already...PIT

Saturday, December 02, 2006

I'm going to have to turn in my "no commentary" card this week, as I'll be leaving shortly to visit friends and eventually make my way up to Lambeau for the game on Sunday. I'll return with either a newfound appreciation for NFL football or a deep, festering hole in the pit of my stomach. Can't wait to find out, eh?

DET at NE. NE.
KC at CLE. KC.
MIN at CHI. MIN. Upset Special.
NYJ at GB. GB.
SD at BUF. SD.
SF at NO. NO.
HOU at OAK. Holy GIDCAOTW, Batman! HOU.
TB at PIT. Yuck. TB.
SEA at DEN. Best matchup of overrated teams so far this year. SEA.