Saturday, October 29, 2005

I think that Lucas is no longer an NFL fan. He's converted to being simply a college football fan. At least Wisconsin is winning. Because of this, I've been given the duty of picking the teams for this week.

GB at CIN:
The last time I picked them, they actually won. It could happen again. GB

AZ at DAL: Ride'em cowboys...I'm really reaching here. DAL

CHI at DET: It would be great if this ended in a tie. But that's not likely to happen, so, um, I'd rather have Detroit lose, I guess. CHI

OAK at TEN: I feel like Tennessee is just a smidge better than Oakland. I hope, anyway. TEN

JAX at STL: Obviously. JAX

WAS at NYG: It's true what Chris says. Eli is a whiny little baby. And somehow Washington has been winning lately. WAS

MIN at CAR: Just because Minnesota won last week, it doesn't mean that they are any good. In fact, they are still terrible. CAR

CLE at HOU: I asked Lucas what his pick for "Game (Lucas) Doesn't Care About of the Week." He asked if there were any candidates, and this was the one (and only) that I mentioned. His response? A prolonged "WWOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW," as if there couldn't possibly be a worse game than this. CLE

MIA at NO: This would probably qualify as the game that I don't care about of the week. I look at these two teams and feel nothing. But, I still have to pick a team. And as Lucas pointed out, it's Ricky Williams versus his old team. So maybe that will help? MIA

KC at SD: SD

PHI at DEN: I don't want to pick Philadelphia because of TO, but I can't help it. PHI

TB at SF: If the Cadillac is running this week, then this is my prediction. TB



Saturday, October 22, 2005

I am so sick of the NFL sneaking around playing games whenever they feel like it. What's next, Wednesday Morning Football?

Or did I just miss the memo?

In any case I can still make the rest of the picks, and I haven't lost any ground because Chris (who must be on drugs) picked the Dolphins.

DET at CLE: It's nice to see the whole Lions team playing at a level that was once exclusively occupied by Mr. Joey Harrington. CLE.

GB at MIN: I'm too giddy about what's going on in Minnesota to think seriously about this matchup. GB.

IND at HOU: Indy has a better chance of losing during their bye week. IND.

NO at STL: If things keeps going this way for the Rams, I may end up actually feeling sorry for them at some point. NO.

PIT at CIN: Cincy's been waiting a long time for this one, and with the Steelers in
a mini-funk they have a good chance here. Don't start blabbering about "Changing of the Guard", though, the Bengals aren't that great. CIN.

San Diego at Philadelphia: The Chargers, who I've been backing all year, are seriously picking up steam, and now Philly has to deal with Brian Westbrook getting a little TO-ish. SD.

SF at WAS: I really miss making fun of Steve Spurrier. C'mon Dan Snyder, I know you're getting impatient, it's time to go to another ex-coach. WAS.

DAL at SEA: The Seahawks' joy ride will end when they meet the overhyped and overrated, but less wussy, Cowboys. DAL.

BAL at CHI: Chicago is once again stupidly dreaming of the playoffs after thumping an NFC Central opponent. It's kinda cute, actually. Awwwww......look at Kyle Orton, he thinks he's a football player! BAL.

BUF at OAK. Randy Moss's new team is struggling, Randy Moss's old team is struggling, and all's well in the NFL. BUF.

DEN at NYG. I just can't get on the Denver bandwagon. It smells like horse #%@&. (Rim shot) NYG.

TEN at ARI: Game I Don't Care About of the Week. TEN, I guess.

NYJ at ATL: Atlanta managed to eke out an undeserved victory against a terrible opponent last week. They're not exactly winning my confidence. Upset Special. NYJ.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

In an effort to continually make the NFL picks fresh around here, this week will be a joint venture between Lisa and myself. I will do the commentary and all the AFC picks, but Lisa, hopefully not blinded by prejudice like I am, will pick the NFC.

MIN at CHI: Only the Vikings could take something as innocent as a cruise on a picturesque Minnesota lake and turn it into, well, you know... CHI (Lisa Pick)

NYG at DAL: Very uninspiring. DAL (Lisa Pick)

CAR at DET: Does Joey Harrington think his pathetic excuse for a "beard" is really fooling anyone into thinking he's tough? If the guy did any more emoting on the field, you'd think he was the youngest, wussiest Grammatica brother. CAR (Lisa Pick, but duh...)

CIN at TEN: Cincy will be PO'ed, so they're my logical pick here.... Which, in my case, guarantees a Titans upset. CIN

WAS at KC: In a relatively weak crop, the "Game I Don't Care About of the Week". KC

ATL at NO: Yikes, I may have felt a tiny bit sorry for the Saints last week. But then I remembered most of them (like all football players) are probably jerks, so I felt better. ATL (Lisa pick)

JAX at PIT: It looks like Chris is finally starting to realize that picking against the Steelers isn't good for one's health. Or he could just be "playing not to lose", so to speak, from his front-running position. Either way, he'll feel silly when the Jags beat up whichever scrub Pittsburgh puts out at QB. Upset special. JAX.

MIA at TB: Tampa is hideously overrated and has nothing without Cadillac at full strength. MIA. (Lisa Pick ... her upset special)

CLE at BAL: Wouldn't the Ravens love to have Trent Dilfer back right about now? How sad is that? Also, Chris, have you seen the Browns? There's no way anyone can call a Cleveland loss an upset special. BAL.

NYJ at BUF: Now that the Bills have "upgraded" (muffled snort) to Kelley Holcomb, they stand a fighting chance against teams that have "upgraded" to the likes of Vinny Testaverde. BUF

NE at DEN: Now this is a tough one... Will an angry Tom Brady actually do much good? I need to make up some ground on Chris so I'll have to go with ... DEN (I feel sick)

SD at OAK: I'm still loving the Bolts, but I wish they'd get my man Antonio involved more. SD

HOU at SEA: With the Vikings and Saints in total disarray, it falls on Seattle's shoulders to once again be the NFC's second-half collapse team this year. SEA (Lisa pick)

STL at IND: Indy at home. Need I say more? IND

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Lucas has taken up Chris' suggestion that I should start making the NFL picks. We'll see if I do well enough to make the picks every week.

NE at ATL: Vick keeps getting hurt in games, the Falcolns aren't sure if he'll play the following week, then he does and gets hurt again. How long will this cycle continue? NE

MIA at BUF: This game is a candidate for "Game Lucas doesn't care about of the week." MIA

CHI at CLE: I just can't pick Chicago. But still...Cleveland? "Game I don't care about of the week." (But Lucas cares, he wants Chicago to lose) CLE

BAL at DET: It was a good thing that Detroit drafted a wide receiver in the first round (again), now that Rogers is suspended. Matt Millen is a genius! (and Steve Mariucci) BAL

NO at GB: Stated by Lucas: "I will allow you to pick New Orleans, provided that they win. But if they don't, there will be serious repercussions." I don't think that I can take that risk. Would this then count as an upset special? GB

SEA at STL: With both Jackson and Engram out, my bet is on St. Louis. However, it does mean good news for Shaun Alexander's owners, such as myself. STL

TB at NYJ: Go Bollinger! Oh wait...I mean, go Vinny! And if not Vinny, then...? TB

TEN at HOU: I still can't think of Houston as anything other than an expansion team. That doesn't mean that Tennessee is good, just that my mental picture of Houston is worse. TEN

IND at SF: This has to be a no-brainer. IND

PHI at DAL: All I have to say is that Philly better win this game. PHI

WAS at DEN: Washington is not a very good team. DEN

CAR at AZ: Likewise, neither is Arizona. CAR

CIN at JAX: Naturally, I can't pick against Jacksonville. And for once, I can watch them on TV. JAX

PIT at SD: You just have to root for the team that's going to be wearing the baby blue uniforms. SD

Saturday, October 01, 2005

From where I'm standing, a few things have become abundantly clear since last week's dismal showing:

1) My penchant for letting personal snap judgements dictate my picks is really catching up with me this year. However, this has always been my M.O. and I'm not going to change it just because "it's not working".

2) I'm overthinking the games that I don't have a strong emotional attachment towards.

I have decided that this combination of strategies isn't working, so this week, to try something new, I will make snap judgements on ALL the games, including those I don't care about. Let's roll, then:

STL at NYG: I hate Mike Martz. NYG.
BUF at NO. Sorry, but the Saints have always been losers and are still losers. BUF.
IND at TEN. I've picked Titans wins correctly about 15% of the time. IND.
DET at TB. Joey Harrington - Ha! TB.
SEA at WAS. Seahawks are the Saints, but with no backstory. Upset Special. WAS.
TEX at CIN. Texans are still an expansion team. CIN.
SD at NE. I <heart> Antonio Gates. Upset Special II. SD.
DEN at JAX. Jags are by default the only team I can legitimately root for right now. JAX.
NYJ at BAL. I'm pulling for ex-Wisconsin Badger Brooks Bollinger. Upset special III. NYJ.
PHI at KC. T.O. has B.O. Upset Special IV. KC.
DAL at OAK. Randy Moss also has B.O. DAL.
MIN at ATL. Vikings always have and always will suck. ATL.
SF at ARI. Clear-cut game I don't care about of the week. I still haven't picked the Cardinals to lose. ARI.
GB at CAR. --- GB.