At last, a season where the NFL picks crown is still up for grabs in the final week - and I'm not sure if postseason picks count because, quite frankly, I've always been able run away with the title by this point. Chris, I'm game for the postseason if you are....
SF at NE: . This week my picks will be be based on subtle variations to a constant, underlying theme: "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
. Quite Symphonic, really. And to prove I'm serious about this: SF.
CLE at HOU: ... and there will be much rejoicing across the world, as humanity will never again be forced to watch the 2004 Cleveland Browns. HOU.
GB at CHI: Mike Sherman says he hasn't decided if he'll play his starters or not, but the Packer Nation will likely kidnap his family if does anything to facilitate a season sweep by the Bears. GB
NO at CAR: Ok, New Orleans, you have the spotlight, time to make a fool of yourselves once again. CAR
PIT at BUF: I'm sticking to my guns, 1-5 teams do not make the playoffs and the Bills know it. Thus, with this burden removed from their shoulders, they will win. "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
, part two. BUF.
MIA at BAL: If you throw everything else Dave Wannsteadt has done out the window, the single act of trading for A.J. Feeley is still more than enough reason for his dismissal. I'm personally hoping the Bears will take him back, virtually guaranteeing another decade of ineptitude for that woeful franchise. BAL.
MIN at WAS: I couldn't call myself a Packers fan if I didn't forcast a colossal choke job here. Upset Special. WAS.
DET at TEN: I'm still haunted by my Detroit upset pick from a couple weeks ago, and I promise to never make that mistake again. TEN.
NYJ at STL: The Rams are due for a thumping when they are welcomed back into the world of playing teams who care. True Fact: Curtis Martin knows what happened before the the big bang, but he's keeping a "game face" about it. NYJ.
CIN at PHI: Way to pack in against the Rams last week, Andy. Good to practice for all that packing it in you'll be doing in two or three weeks. "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
, part three. CIN.
ATL at SEA: It sickens me that a team that would likely lose to most CFL teams is going to win their division. However, "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
, part four. SEA.
TB at AZ: If only Dennis Green could be convinced to stop using the "Names In A Hat" method of quarterback selection, the Cardinals could have won this game. At a minimum, Denny should be picking quarterbacks on some quality that is percepible to people other than him, such as height or hair color. TB.
KC at SD: The Chargers may have lost last week (as I predictied), but they still proved their legitimacy (not that I neeeded to be convinced). However, "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
, part five. KC.
JAX at OAK: I've bent over backwards for the Jags this year, and how do they repay me? By beating the Packers, injuring my beloved Robert "Turd" Ferguson, and then managing to pull the greatest non-Minnesota choke job of the year. Thanks for nothing. JAX.
IND at DEN: The Broncos are the only team in this matchup that doesn't have a robot for a quarterback, but they are also the only team that has something to play for. "Don't Pick Teams That Have Already Clinched"
, part six. DEN.
DAL at NYG: A wonderful place to use my new "Once-Great Rivalry That's Now Just Kinda Depressing" tag, for the last time this year. DAL.