Well, it's time to fire up the ol' football-pickin' machine again, and it's nice to see that this season already has plenty to talk about. I'm speaking, of course, about this year's version of spygate, duffelgate
. Please see this google screenshot
as proof I coined the term. Last year we had to wait until after week one to start talking about the season's big issue, this year we got a one-week head start. Hooray!
WAS at NYG: I can't stay mad at the Giants for beating the Pack at Lambeau last year, because I'm convinced the Pats would have mopped the floor with GB in the super bowl, and I would take a Pats championship game loss over a Packers champion ship game loss (to the Pats) any day.
DET at ATL: Almost went upset special but I couldn't pick a team where I actually have no idea who the coach is. DET.
CIN at BAL: This year I'll provide a homeland-security-style Bengals Implosion Threat Level (BITL) for each of their games. We start out at BITL: Salmon (moderately low). BAL.
SEA at BUF: Wild, crazy, prediction: Seattle will finish about 10-6 and exit in the second round of the playoffs. Also, Matt Hasselbeck will continue to act like he's not a balding, annoying, pipsqueak. SEA.
NYJ at MIA: Aw, noodle-armed Chad Pennington doesn't have a starting job at the moment. What Jet shall I then make fun of? I'll make my decision after this week. NYJ.
KC at NE: The Pats will be worse than last year, and so will the Chiefs. NE.
TB at NO: Somebody has to win the NFC south, and it might as well be the Saints again. NO.
STL at PHI: Does anyone outside of Philly still consider the Eagles a super bowl contender? Because everyone inside Philly does, for some reason. PHI.
HOU at PIT: Seems like a decent candidate for GIDCAOTW. PIT.
JAC at TEN: The Jags look like a team on the upswing, but I'm starting to get a 2006 Bengals vibe from them. TEN.
DAL at CLE: One thing I don't understand is why everyone thinks the cowboys will be even better than they were last year. But then again, I'm not a blowhard ex-jock with an extensive concussion history and freedom to speak whatever wanders across my wasteland of a mind on national TV. Upset Special. CLE.
CAR at SD: Phil Rivers is quickly becoming the quarterback who most annoys me, but I have to admit, if the Chargers didn't lose their QB and RB at the most inopportune time possible last year, they probably are super bowl champions right now. SD.
ARI at SF: J.T. O'Sullivan. ARI.
CHI at IND: Wow, two teams that have similar personnel to what they had a couple years ago in the superbowl, ...and yet, the Colts are expecting to be a top team in the AFC once again, while the Bears have to be realistically aiming for about 6 wins. IND.
MIN at GB: I have no idea what will happen to the Packers this year, and I have a bad feeling about this one (despite the horrific over-ration of the Vikings, this year's stupid national media darling). GB.
DEN at OAK: Do not let people who were born before the Spanish-American war run a team in 2008 - is that clear by now??? DEN.