It's been a long time since I've done 4-word picks, so let's give it a go...

OAK at BAL: Al Davis is Death. BAL.

ARI at CAR: Sorry, you're both pretenders. CAR.

TB at DAL: In your face, Cowboys. TB.

WAS at DET: No Millen, still bad. WAS.

BUF at MIA: Your new AFC favorite. BUF.

STL at NE: It's been fun, Rams. NE.

SD at NO: New Orleans isn't good. SD.

KC at NYJ: Screw you, Mr. Favre. NYJ.

ATL at PHI: Atlanta returns to earth. PHI.

CLE at JAC: What the hell, Cleveland? JAC.

CIN at HOU: Hey, it's the GIDCAOTW! HOU.

NYG at PIT: Won't meet the hype. NYG.

SEA at SF: Seattle is really terrible. SF.

IND at TEN: Titans clinch AFC south. TEN.

The Packers are winning again, so I'm picking again...

SD at BUF: Am I crazy for considering Buffalo the AFC championship favorite if they win this game? Yes, probably. SD.

NO at CAR: Someone undeserving is going to win the NFC south again this year, but hey, at least it's not the NFC west. CAR.

MIN at CHI: The Falcons' 11-second drive against Chicago was the greatest Nelsonesque "Haw-haw" moment of the year so far. CHI.

PIT at CIN: Bengals Implosion Threat Level: Neon Pink (near critical mass). PIT.

TEN at KC: At this point, you're looking at Kansas City and wondering to yourself, "how on earth did they get a win this year?" TEN.

BAL at MIA: I think Baltimore has been doing it with smoke and mirrors so far this year, and last week's beatdown by the Colts was just the beginning. MIA.

SF at NYG: I hate to keep harping on J.T. O'Sullivan, but it's just too easy to pass up. I don't like his chances against the Giants' blitz packages. NYG.

DAL at STL: Just sit down and take your medicine like a man, Jerry Jones. DAL.

DET at HOU: Do you remember the draft a few years ago where everyone in the media absolutely loved Matt Millen's picks of Roy Williams and Kevin Jones, 1-2? A+ "grades" across the board. I don't think I have to say anything more. HOU.

IND at GB: Bad Peyton, I really need you to show up for this one. GB.

NYJ at OAK: Speaking of the media, how much of a froth do you think they'll work up this week after Favre destroys the hopeless Raiders and leads the big-market Jets to a *gasp* winning record? NYJ.

CLE at WAS: This game wins the award for "best matchup of hard-to-assess teams with non-distinctive color palettes" CLE. Upset special.

SEA at TB: Having fun in your lame-duck season, Mr. Holmgren? TB.

DEN at NE: The matchup of the two coaches I hate the most. Denver's not good, but the Patriots seem to be worse than anyone thought possible. DEN.

Sorry folks, no picks this week. Once again, forces have conspired to down the Badgers, Brewers, Packers, and (soon) Bucks, causing me to avert my eyes from the train wreck that is Wisconsin sports right now. Plus I've just finished about ten consecutive hours of painting our basement, and I want to lie down for a few weeks now.

However, because I don't want any reader to walk away empty handed I offer this quick suggestion: if you're paying any attention to the upcoming election, this statistics-heavy wonder-site by the Baseball Prospectus Guy should be on your daily rounds.

Because the Brewers made the playoffs and gave me one positive sporting-related event to dwell on during the past week, I need to hold up my end of the bargain by getting back to the football-pickin' business.

TEN at BAL: It's pretty hard to imagine this Titans team being better than the early 00's McNair-led squads. McNair was undoubtedly superior to the early 00's Kerry Collins, who was undoubtedly superior to the late 00's Kerry Collins. Upset special. BAL.

KC at CAR: Well, Kansas City, at least you have the Royals... oh wait, never mind. CAR.

CHI at DET: If you're a solid GM candidate, is there any way you're stepping into the mess in Detroit if they ask you to stop by for an interview? I'm guessing not. Another former broadcaster, perhaps? What's Pat Summerall doing these days? CHI.

ATL at GB: Please, please, please - I don't want to see Matt Flynn. GB.

IND at HOU: It's games like these that will keep Indy in the playoff race, somehow. IND.

SD at MIA: Is anyone going to pay any attention to the dolphins now that they've fulfilled their destiny and played their one competent game against the Pats? SD.

SEA at NYG: Don't stop believing, little Matt Hasselbeck, you'll grow up to be a successful woman some day. NYG.

WAS at PHI: Ok, I have to admit I no longer have any idea what's up with the NFC east. I guess I'll pick the Eagles because I like birds more than ethnic stereotypes. PHI.

TB at DEN: Tampa gets its comeuppance this week, while Denver will have to wait another game or two. DEN.

BUF at ARI: Really, Arizona, what the hell just happened last week?!?!? BUF.

CIN at DAL: This is gonna get ugly, part II. DAL.

NE at SF: The equation is pretty simple in this match up: the winner is probably a borderline playoff contender, the loser probably isn't. NE.

PIT at JAC: Does Jacksonville have enough to keep their season afloat? For right now they do, against an equally beat-up Steelers squad. JAC.

MIN at NO: I just like picking against the Vikings. NO.